1635 Miles

We just pulled into the driveway from a very long road trip. The time in the middle with my family was a great time. We're glad to be home. Driving 1635 miles is not an easy drive for the driver or the rider and I think Colin summed it up beautifully in-between Kingman and Barstow (the absolutely most brutal portion of the trip - ain't NOTHIN' out the window.) You have to say this with a little whine in your voice. 

"Mom, I'm done to death." 

Amen, amen. I didn't have the heart to tell him we still had 250 miles to go. I just agreed completely! Done to death. Can you get anymore done that that? 

Time Slippin'

I can't believe it was election day that I posted last. It was election day that I read anyone's blog last too. Time slipped away friends. But I've been a little busy. 

I got my first "teacher's cold" that turned into a serious cough, that turned into a sinus infection that just today, I can finally feel my lungs normal again. Then I gave it to Colin who went through his typical Nebulizer treatments, Inhalers, Antibiotics, and trips to the Dr. Since that little cold, I've been wiping my room, the chairs, the door handles, the table tops with Clorox Bleach cleaner every day. I'll be damned if I get this crap again from one of those little cuties with cooties. 

Also, a new job, I don't care what it is, is hard work. The previous teacher left me nothing! So I've been writing curriculum, making copies, shopping for manipulatives, building bulletin boards, creating a creative, educational, helpful room, and pulling stuff out of my ass for these guys every day, while looking like I know exactly what I'm doing and making it look easy. Luckily, I have a fantastic boss and good teacher friends and Andi around me who will not let me fail but instead are a constant source of help and encouragement. It also helps to have a 4 1/2 year old at home so I know exactly what these little guys are into, what they can do, what they should be doing, what they shouldn't be doing. Colin has been a remedial Masters Course in teaching Pre-Kindergarten for me lately. You gotta love God's providence in this one. 

So, forgive the absence. I'll be back. We're leaving for New Mexico to go spend Thanksgiving with my family. We're driving. We'll be back next weekend. Looking forward to the break. So, I'll be posting again in December. I'm also gonna go back and read all your posts for November.... I've missed you guys!

The Vote

In honor of the election today I decided to hold an election in my class. After discussion of what today was all about and who the candidates were (names only) and that all their parents were going to vote for a new president, I thought they should experience the process. 

We have a new alligator in the class who will help every morning with circle time. He needed a name. I let each child come up with a name they liked. I had everything from Mr. Alligator to George, to Lisa to Princess. I told them that there was no wrong names and that Ms Stephanie and I would narrow their choices to two and then they would cast their vote on secret ballot. 

The top two contenders were Noodles and Pepper. Each child voted by either writing 1 or 2 on the ballot. After the votes were counted, the elected name for our alligator is Noodles. Won the vote 10 to 4. 

On the way out, each child got a "button" to wear home. It was a good day in America. 

Back to School

So, I went back to school on Monday. I've just spent my first week as a Pre-K preschool teacher. I had no illusions of how difficult this job was going to be; but I grossly underestimated out of pure ignorance. 'Ignorance is bliss' is not just a catch phrase. So here's a little list of what I learned....not exclusive by any stretch of the imagination, I just can't remember it all. It was a long first week. Ms Celeste tired.

1. A preschool is no place to break in a new pair of shoes. 

2. You can make a pumpkin patch out of brown and green paper in about 10 minutes. 

3. You can learn the names of 23 children in a day.

4. You can pee on command.

5. You walk a lot at a preschool and you never sit down.

6. Empty walls need something creative.

7. Glue is messy but cleans up easy with water.

8. Kids like things done a certain way and will tell you.

9. You can never show your fear.

10. "Wash your hands" is a relative statement.

11. Boys LOVE little cars and blocks.

12. I have inherited a classroom bird named Rocket. (I know nothing about caring for birds)

13. I hand-made an apron for my "Mary Poppins" costume. 

14. Four years olds, don't really know who Mary Poppins is. 

15. Five minutes without purposed activity will lead to all out uncontrolled chaos.

16. Kids eat buggers. 

17. Teachers have to stick together.

18. Sleep is the best reward to a long day.

19. Parents trust you and hope the best for you.

20. I'm completely ill-equipped and completely excited.

Loopty "Loo"

So, I've not pooped in two full days and I was due. I get situated for a little stay with my magazine and content for Colin to self-manage and come and go if he can stand the stench. 

He interrupts: 

Colin:  Mom, I have to poop. 

Me:  Well, I'm already pooping. 

Colin:  Can you get off?

Me:  Can you go to the other bathroom? 

Colin:  I need your help to wipe.

Me:  By the time you're finished I'll be finished. 

Colin:  Mom (dancing) I have to poop right now. 

Me:  Okay, I'm moving. Give me a second....

I do necessary cleaning to "move" to the other potty. Colin settles, I settle again on the other potty and we're content. Then I hear...

Colin:  I'm dooooonnnnneee!

Me:  I'm noooooootttttt!

Colin:  Are you coming Mom?

Me:  Be right there. 

I do the necessary cleaning to "move" again and to wipe the other bottom. I do, I sit again on a very warm seat and finish my job. I tell you, a good poop is hard to beat even if you're interrupted three times. 

Here we go loopty "loo", here we go loopty ly, Here we go loopty "loo", all on a Tuesday night

Sheesh!

Faces

Granny and Colin's handy-work. Is there better patience in the world than that of a grandmother's? I think not. Colin said, "The purple one with two candy corns is the one with noculars." (binoculars) Brilliant!

Holloween Time

Granny and Pop were here this week so we went to Disneyland. They have it all dressed up for Halloween Time. Very cute. 

A Comma

On my way to the church to drop of Colin at school I pass by this spot that has had me thinking lately. I know, seriously dangerous, me thinking but it's happened and I thought (there I go again) I would share it or at least write it so that I can stop this infernal thinking as it were. Be patient with me, I promise not to do this too often. 

I must begin with a moment out of a movie that was originally a play written by Margaret Edson called "Wit". Emma Thompson then stared in an HBO film production of it and I have to first say that if you haven't seen it, you absolutely MUST. It is in my top 10 movies of all time and shall be there forever. It is one of the few that grace my shelf. It is also one I watch at least once a year just to bathe in its perfection. Need I say it? Strong, weak in no way. 

I'm going to painstakingly type out the scene for you because I happen to have a script of the play so you can read all the words. For it is the words themselves associating with this picture that has me thinking in the first place. 

There are two characters in the scene. Vivian Bearing, PhD who has been diagnosed with stage four cancer and her professor, E.M. Ashford, D.Phil. In this scene Vivian is a student of E.M. and she's remembering a conversation with her professor about a paper she's written on the poem Death Be Not Proud by John Donne. Vivian ultimately becomes a professor of seventeenth-century poetry. She becomes an expert on Donne but in this scene she hasn't grasped even the simplest idea of it all. 

Enter Prof EM Ashford. The scene is 28 years ago. Vivan suddenly turns twenty-two, eager and intimidated.

V:  Professor Ashford?

EM: Do it again. Your essay on Holy Sonnet Six, Miss Bearing, is a melodrama, with a veneer of scholarship unworthy of you - to say nothing of Donne. Do it again. 

V:  I, ah...

EM: You must begin with the text Miss Bearing, not with a feeling. 

Death be not proud, though some have called thee

Mightly and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe.

You have entirely missed the point of the poem,  because, I must tell you, you have used an edition of the text that is unauthentically punctuated. In the Garner edition -- 

V:  That edition was checked out of the library --

EM: Miss Bearing!

V:  Sorry.

EM: You take this too lightly, Miss Bearing. This is Metaphysical Poetry, not The Modern Novel. The standards of scholarship and critical reading which one would apply to any other text are simply insufficient. The effort must be total for the results to be meaningful. Do you think the punctuation of the last line of this sonnet is merely an insignificant detail? 

The sonnet begins with a valiant struggle with death, calling on all the forces of intellect and drama to vanquish the enemy. But it is ultimately about overcoming the seemingly insuperable barriers separating life, death, and eternal life. 

In the edition you chose, this profoundly simple meaning is sacrificed to hysterical punctuation. 

And Death - captial D - shall be no more - simicolon!

Death - captial D - comma - thou shalt die - exclamation point!

If you go in for this sort of thing, I suggest you take up Shakespeare. Garner's editions of the Holy Sonnets returns to the Westmoreland manuscript source of 1610 - not for the sentimental reasons, I assure you, but because Helen Garnder is a scholar. It reads: 

And death shall be no more, comma, death thou shalt die. 

Nothing but a breath - a comma - separates life from life everlasting. It is very simple really. With the original punctuation restored, death is no longer something to act out on a stage, with exclamation points. It's a comma, a pause. 

This way, the uncompromising way, one learns something from this poem, wouldn't you say? Life, death. Soul, God. Past, present, Not insuperable barriers, not semicolons, Just a comma. 

V:  Life, death....I see. It's a metaphysical conceit. It's wit! I'll go back to the library and rewrite the paper --

EM: It is not wit, Miss Bearing. It is truth. The paper's not the point. 

V:  Isn't it?

EM: Vivan. You're a bright young woman. Use your intelligence. Don't go back to the library. Go out. Enjoy yourself with your friends. Hmmm? 

So, as I drive Colin to school every morning I pass this scene and I think of this scene from the play and movie. I see a living illustration of the pause, the comma between death and life. And again I see the heroics of the firemen. 

Death Be Not Proud
by John Donne
(1572-1631)

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, death, thou shalt die.

Crayons and Monkeys

Colin:  Mom, I need a crayon. 

Me:  For what? 

Colin:  To stick in my ear.

Me:  What? 

Colin:  To stick in my ear. 

Me:  You can't stick a crayon in your ear. 

Colin:  Curious George did. 

Me:  Well, "Curious George does things you can't do."

Colin:  But I want to. 

Me:  You can't stick anything in your ear except your elbow. 

Colin:  Then can I have some paper and colors? 

Me:  To color with?

Colin:  Yes

Me:  If I find you with a crayon in your ear I'll take away your Game Boy for a week.

Colin:  A week? 

Me:  That's seven days.

Colin:  That's a lot of days. 

Me:  You can't stick anything in your ear, espcially a crayon and I mean it. 

Colin:  thinking... then hangs his head, pouts for a second, and abandons his idea. 

What the crap is Curious George teaching my kid??!!!

Soaped

It was a beautiful Sunday October afternoon and I was just sittin' on the couch reading "The Story Of Edgar Sawtelle" JD was lying on the couch watching football, Colin was sitting playing with his Game-boy when we all heard a crash. I looked up and JD looked at me and I said, "What was that?" He said, "Sounds like something just fell off the washer." Ummm...you could say that. 

Under the washer, down the door, down the wall, on the ceiling, out into the hallway, on the carpet of the guest room, on the door knob, under the dryer....it didn't end.

What a mess! There was detergent EVERYWHERE!!!! It took me the better part of an hour to clean this up. And are you thinking what I was thinking? I was thinking, "Thank you God the basket was there." 

The salvaged detergent. 

At the price of this stuff, I saved every drop I could. That's probably why it took so long to clean up. UGGG!