Tuesday, April 28, 2009

To Face or Not To Face?

So, I have these friends who do this thing called Face Book. Yeah, I know, it's most of you people. I have many of you friends who wonder what's with Celeste and that she doesn't Face? Honestly, I'm literally afraid of it. I'm so afraid of it, I haven't even ventured out to see what's involved. 

I hear things like this: 
So, this person, whom I've not heard from in 25 years found me on Face Book!
So and so, friended me on Face Book (said with disgust)
I spent 3 hours on Face Book yesterday
I haven't caught up on Face Book in ages
Why aren't you on Face Book
I tried to find you on Face Book
I tried to friend you on Face Book
You find all kinds of people on Face Book (I don't want to find people)
It keeps you in touch with everyone!

UGGGG - I don't want people "finding" me! What if I don't want to be found?!

The truth is, I like being a missing person. But when my oldest friend told me she knows more about my sister than me because of Face Book I was a little peeved and somewhat jealous and now I'm thinking that maybe Face isn't so bad and I was wondering what you guys think.....

Also, keeping up with the blog is hard enough, who has time for Facing!? 

I'm feeling like it's going to be a slap in the face - no really!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

On Purpose

Coin: When you do something mean to me, you do it on purpose. 
Me: What? 
Colin: When you do something mean to me, you do it on purpose. (He's referring to discipline)
Me: I also love you on purpose. 
Colin: Okay. That's good. 

Oh Crap!

(The names of the children have been left out to protect the innocent and the guilty)

For the most part, handling the kids' pre-school issues are normal Mommy / Teacher behavior. However, there are certain times that stuff goes down and you wish for a little more education, intuition, common sense, psyche classes, and without question, the miracle of forgetfulness for the children. 

On Friday, right as lunch was about over I started the "Potty Train" where all the kids go potty before nap time. The first one in line was a beautiful and very compliant little girl. She starts the potty train by stating that she needs to go. I send her in. She returns, finishes lunch, excuses herself. I have done 1000 more things since then and remember that I'm supposed to sending kids to pee. I send a little boy who's been done with lunch. He goes in and immediately comes back out. 

Teacher, there's poop in here. 
We'll insert name pee on top of it and then flush it all. 
But Teacher, the poop is on the floor!

WHAT!? I round the corner and see that indeed there is poop on the floor in front of the potty, kind of smeared but not exactly, it's fresh and it stinks. 

Of course by now, many of the students have to look, see, comment. This is making the whole situation worse. I have to do something right now or this will be a worse disaster than it already is. 

Now, you be me. What to do next?! I considered all sorts of things. One to clean it up myself, move on and get the potty train done. I considered going into the room and announcing that someone needs to finish the job. I considered going home and not dealing with it at all. Truth be told, this was the most favorable option but clearly not a viable one. 

I send my tattle-tail out of the bathroom and I go out and survey the classroom. I'm thinking who was the last kid in there that I'm aware of? Then it dawns on me. The sweet little girl mentioned above is my first deduction. I call her over to me. Now, side note on this child. She literally melts if she's in trouble for the littlest thing, hence she is rarely in trouble with anyone. Before she ever gets to me I see it fear and shame on her face. I realize that probably she is my guilty party. Now I know enough about her to know she would NEVER do such a thing on purpose. In fact she is so good that she wouldn't even be able to think it up. So I ask. 

Insert name I need the truth. Was it you? Please just tell me the truth. 
She nods yes. 

Okay. Now what? 

I decide that she needs to help me clean it up and that way we can talk about it and find out what happened. She's crying. Tears are rolling down her cheeks one after the other as I put gloves on her hands and mine. 

We go to the bathroom. I show her how to clean it up. I help. She cries. We finish. Then I say the following. 

Here's what I think happened. I think when you stood up and wiped, the poop hadn't fallen off into the potty yet. As you wiped, it fell to the floor instead. So here's my question. Did you know that the poop was on the floor when you left the bathroom? 

She nods yes. 

Okay. In the future, if you ever have any kind of problem, please will you come get me? All you have to do is say, "Ms Celeste, I need your help. Can you come please?" And I'll come help and we will fix it, whatever it is. Also, that way, no one has to know anything except you and me. Okay?


I hug her and tell her it's okay. She didn't mean to and we're just going to forget all about it. (praying for that miracle of forgetfulness)

She recovers, the class minds their manners and doesn't tease her or mention it again (I was astonished at that and so very grateful). I later had to tell her mother what happened so if her daughter mentioned something about it, she had the whole story. Her mother was horrified for her and wanted to just cry for her. I did too. But I told her the class didn't tease her and she recovered from the incident. 

What a day! Seriously, this wasn't in my orientation for becoming a Preschool Teacher. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Been Found Out!

Colin says to me yesterday, "Mom, you're just filled with jokes." 


"Mom, you're full of it." 

.....I know that. JD definitely knows that, I just didn't think Colin would figure that out so soon. 

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Price Is Right

Colin and I were off school today. He discovered "The Price Is Right". While sitting in a trance he said, "Mom, I love this show on the big TV". 

Me too!

Perhaps we should TiVo it. At the very least, he'll learn large numbers and some shopping tips. 

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Sweet Talk

Colin: Mom, you know what sweet talk is?
I have a guess but I can't wait to hear what he thinks it is
Me: No, what is it?
Colin: It's when you pull the antennas off the ants. That's sweet talk." 

Dying inside!!!! Especially since they're also called "feelers". 

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I have 10 boys in my classroom. They often go to the restroom in pairs. One is supposed to pee and the other should be washing hands. Way too many times a P-Party (penis party) is taking place. Boys being boys and in truth it is hilarious. But as the teacher I'm not allowed to find humor in it, but instead must teach them that P-Parties shouldn't happen, especially in the classroom. 

So last Friday, it was finally nap time and I was supposed to mop and clean the bathroom and classroom floor. I went in the bathroom to discover the remains of a major P-Party that had taken place. The top of the trash can lid was upside down thus creating a bowl like situation. In the bowl was pee, on the floor was pee, on the wall was pee. REALLY!!??? What the crap?! I mean PEE! Disgusting. You're laughing. I know you are and I get it. I would've laughed too, had I not been on the clean up crew that day. 

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


JD and Colin and I were sitting outside at Golden Spoon. GS is this wonderful frozen yogurt place that we should buy stock in. Anyway, as we were sitting there enjoying our treat a bird flew overhead and sent down a gift to splat on our table. It took several seconds for us to register what just took place. Colin finally broke the silence. 
Colin: What is that? 
Me: Bird poop.
Colin: Where did it come from? 
JD: A bird pooped. 
Colin: On the table?!
Me: It pooped as it flew over. Be glad it didn't land our our heads. 
Colin: That's what birds do? ...They just poop! ....Anywhere they want?!
Me: Yep, that's what birds do. 

The next day or so Colin reviews that with me. "Mom, remember that bird that just pooped on the table at Golden Spoon?" "Yes. I remember." Then he says as he shakes his head back and forth in disbelief, "Birds!" 

By the way, the birds are back in our classroom. Only not Rocket. Apparently, the little kids knocked over the cage while it was outside and Rocket flew the coop. So now we have Patrick and Ricky. Who names these birds!? 
With 2 hamsters, 2 birds, 23 kids and a turtle I'm going to change my title to zoo-keeper.


Colin: as he is aiming his Star Wars gun with the laser light You know what I'm doing Mom as I move my gun around? 
Me: What? 
Colin: Contacting.
Me: What's contacting? 
Colin: That's when I shoot everything I see except people. That's contacting.

Um, yeah, the cat was contacted. 

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Bye Bye Floppers

I don't think I mentioned that Colin named the spider "Floppers". Anyway, I saw that she was looking lethargic and thought we should let her go. This was Thursday evening. I told Colin it was time to let her go. He emphatically said, "No." 

Friday morning I looked for her in the jar. Took me a long time to find her. Thought she was dead. Finally she peaked out and walked around. I was relieved. Again I told Colin we needed to let her go. He didn't want to. I told him that if we don't she will die in the jar. He didn't want her to die and he didn't want her to go. I told him that he really needed to think about it and hopefully she would still be alive when we got home from school. 

Friday afternoon we found her in the jar. She didn't look good at all. Finally Colin said we should let her go. We did. She was happy to be out of the jar. 

Later that night in bed he said, "I'm gonna miss Floppers." "Me too. You did a good thing letting her go. I didn't want her to die." "Me either." Then in the dark, I saw Colin wipe a tear away. 

I don't know, maybe it's cuz we're reading Charlotte's Web in school or what, but just like Wilbur, we found something beautiful in our spider and we were sad to see her go. Colin was especially sad. It was a sweet moment. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Banker

Hanging in Colin's classroom is a life-size outline drawing of him. Next to it was the word "Banker". This is what my son, apparently, wants to be when he grows up. 

So I asked him, "What happened to being a race car driver or a baseball player?" The last time we discussed his options, those were the top two choices. And this was his response....

"Well... when I'm 70, I'm gonna be a race car driver."