Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Loopty "Loo"


So, I've not pooped in two full days and I was due. I get situated for a little stay with my magazine and content for Colin to self-manage and come and go if he can stand the stench. 

He interrupts: 
Colin:  Mom, I have to poop. 
Me:  Well, I'm already pooping. 
Colin:  Can you get off?
Me:  Can you go to the other bathroom? 
Colin:  I need your help to wipe.
Me:  By the time you're finished I'll be finished. 
Colin:  Mom (dancing) I have to poop right now. 
Me:  Okay, I'm moving. Give me a second....

I do necessary cleaning to "move" to the other potty. Colin settles, I settle again on the other potty and we're content. Then I hear...

Colin:  I'm dooooonnnnneee!
Me:  I'm noooooootttttt!
Colin:  Are you coming Mom?
Me:  Be right there. 

I do the necessary cleaning to "move" again and to wipe the other bottom. I do, I sit again on a very warm seat and finish my job. I tell you, a good poop is hard to beat even if you're interrupted three times. 

Here we go loopty "loo", here we go loopty ly, Here we go loopty "loo", all on a Tuesday night

Sheesh!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Faces

Granny and Colin's handy-work. Is there better patience in the world than that of a grandmother's? I think not. Colin said, "The purple one with two candy corns is the one with noculars." (binoculars) Brilliant!

Holloween Time




Granny and Pop were here this week so we went to Disneyland. They have it all dressed up for Halloween Time. Very cute. 

Saturday, October 25, 2008

A Comma

On my way to the church to drop of Colin at school I pass by this spot that has had me thinking lately. I know, seriously dangerous, me thinking but it's happened and I thought (there I go again) I would share it or at least write it so that I can stop this infernal thinking as it were. Be patient with me, I promise not to do this too often. 

I must begin with a moment out of a movie that was originally a play written by Margaret Edson called "Wit". Emma Thompson then stared in an HBO film production of it and I have to first say that if you haven't seen it, you absolutely MUST. It is in my top 10 movies of all time and shall be there forever. It is one of the few that grace my shelf. It is also one I watch at least once a year just to bathe in its perfection. Need I say it? Strong, weak in no way. 

I'm going to painstakingly type out the scene for you because I happen to have a script of the play so you can read all the words. For it is the words themselves associating with this picture that has me thinking in the first place. 

There are two characters in the scene. Vivian Bearing, PhD who has been diagnosed with stage four cancer and her professor, E.M. Ashford, D.Phil. In this scene Vivian is a student of E.M. and she's remembering a conversation with her professor about a paper she's written on the poem Death Be Not Proud by John Donne. Vivian ultimately becomes a professor of seventeenth-century poetry. She becomes an expert on Donne but in this scene she hasn't grasped even the simplest idea of it all. 

Enter Prof EM Ashford. The scene is 28 years ago. Vivan suddenly turns twenty-two, eager and intimidated.

V:  Professor Ashford?

EM: Do it again. Your essay on Holy Sonnet Six, Miss Bearing, is a melodrama, with a veneer of scholarship unworthy of you - to say nothing of Donne. Do it again. 

V:  I, ah...

EM: You must begin with the text Miss Bearing, not with a feeling. 
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mightly and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe.
You have entirely missed the point of the poem,  because, I must tell you, you have used an edition of the text that is unauthentically punctuated. In the Garner edition -- 

V:  That edition was checked out of the library --

EM: Miss Bearing!

V:  Sorry.

EM: You take this too lightly, Miss Bearing. This is Metaphysical Poetry, not The Modern Novel. The standards of scholarship and critical reading which one would apply to any other text are simply insufficient. The effort must be total for the results to be meaningful. Do you think the punctuation of the last line of this sonnet is merely an insignificant detail? 

The sonnet begins with a valiant struggle with death, calling on all the forces of intellect and drama to vanquish the enemy. But it is ultimately about overcoming the seemingly insuperable barriers separating life, death, and eternal life. 

In the edition you chose, this profoundly simple meaning is sacrificed to hysterical punctuation. 

And Death - captial D - shall be no more - simicolon!
Death - captial D - comma - thou shalt die - exclamation point!

If you go in for this sort of thing, I suggest you take up Shakespeare. Garner's editions of the Holy Sonnets returns to the Westmoreland manuscript source of 1610 - not for the sentimental reasons, I assure you, but because Helen Garnder is a scholar. It reads: 

And death shall be no more, comma, death thou shalt die. 

Nothing but a breath - a comma - separates life from life everlasting. It is very simple really. With the original punctuation restored, death is no longer something to act out on a stage, with exclamation points. It's a comma, a pause. 

This way, the uncompromising way, one learns something from this poem, wouldn't you say? Life, death. Soul, God. Past, present, Not insuperable barriers, not semicolons, Just a comma. 

V:  Life, death....I see. It's a metaphysical conceit. It's wit! I'll go back to the library and rewrite the paper --

EM: It is not wit, Miss Bearing. It is truth. The paper's not the point. 

V:  Isn't it?

EM: Vivan. You're a bright young woman. Use your intelligence. Don't go back to the library. Go out. Enjoy yourself with your friends. Hmmm? 

So, as I drive Colin to school every morning I pass this scene and I think of this scene from the play and movie. I see a living illustration of the pause, the comma between death and life. And again I see the heroics of the firemen. 





Death Be Not Proud
by John Donne
(1572-1631)


DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, death, thou shalt die.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Crayons and Monkeys

Colin:  Mom, I need a crayon. 
Me:  For what? 
Colin:  To stick in my ear.
Me:  What? 
Colin:  To stick in my ear. 
Me:  You can't stick a crayon in your ear. 
Colin:  Curious George did. 
Me:  Well, "Curious George does things you can't do."
Colin:  But I want to. 
Me:  You can't stick anything in your ear except your elbow. 
Colin:  Then can I have some paper and colors? 
Me:  To color with?
Colin:  Yes
Me:  If I find you with a crayon in your ear I'll take away your Game Boy for a week.
Colin:  A week? 
Me:  That's seven days.
Colin:  That's a lot of days. 
Me:  You can't stick anything in your ear, espcially a crayon and I mean it. 
Colin:  thinking... then hangs his head, pouts for a second, and abandons his idea. 

What the crap is Curious George teaching my kid??!!!

Soaped

It was a beautiful Sunday October afternoon and I was just sittin' on the couch reading "The Story Of Edgar Sawtelle" JD was lying on the couch watching football, Colin was sitting playing with his Game-boy when we all heard a crash. I looked up and JD looked at me and I said, "What was that?" He said, "Sounds like something just fell off the washer." Ummm...you could say that. 
Under the washer, down the door, down the wall, on the ceiling, out into the hallway, on the carpet of the guest room, on the door knob, under the dryer....it didn't end.

What a mess! There was detergent EVERYWHERE!!!! It took me the better part of an hour to clean this up. And are you thinking what I was thinking? I was thinking, "Thank you God the basket was there." 
The salvaged detergent. 

At the price of this stuff, I saved every drop I could. That's probably why it took so long to clean up. UGGG!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Pulling and Plucking while Puling

I've said, "I'm going to grow old gracefully." I'm not even sure what that means but it sounds like something you should say, so I do. However, lately, I've been plucking and pulling hairs out of my head like a mad woman and I'm not sure this is graceful. I'm pretty sure this falls under disgraceful. I used to couldn't find a gray hair. I had to really look and the light had to catch it just right but the time of that luxury has passed. Now, I don't have to "look" they just scream, "See me? Here I am." And then I go to pull it out but my eyes are going and the light is bad and I pull a brown hair out instead and the gray one continues to sneer at me with great satisfaction. I sneer back with contempt and pull hairs until I find it. And the plucking? What the crap? I used to only pluck my brows once in a while but now, I can't keep up. I've resorted to carrying around tweezers in my purse because the only time I can really see the little buggers is in daylight using the car's vanity mirror. Vanity for sure. And let's not even mention the three little whiskers on my chinny chin chin that will not give up. They keep coming back like a reoccurring zit during PMS. I'm just waiting for the hair to show up in my ears. This will be a very very very disgraceful day, I promise!

I'm going to grow old DISGRACEFULLY. I'm resigned. 

pule (pul) v.i.  puled, puling, to whine

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Hidden Ingredient

Remember the Friendship Bread attempt gone bad? Well, I finally gave up on trying to get something good out of that mess. However, recently I bought some zucchini and decided I would make a zucchini cake. It truly is the oldest recipe in my collection. Got it from my Mom. Been making this cake for 25 years. You can also put apples or carrots in this cake and I'm telling you, it's fail-proof. Colin really liked the friendship bread even though to me it always tasted wrong, so I called this cake "friendship bread" and didn't mention that it had a vegetable in it. He ate the whole cake almost by himself. So, for all you mommies who like to hide the good stuff in the food so your kids will eat it unknowingly.... (Seinfeld Cookbook)
...this might be a recipe you would like. Like I said, it's fail-proof. 

Apple or Carrot or Zucchini Cake (Bread)
2 C sugar (if using apples only put in 1 1/2 C)
2 C grated apples or carrots or zucchini
2 eggs
3/4 C oil (1 C if you like it more moist)
2 C flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp (heaping) cinnamon
1 C chopped pecans or walnuts (optional)

Mix ingredients with mixer about 3 minutes dump into greased and floured bunt pan. Bake at 350 for 1 hour to 1 hour 5 minutes or until knife comes out clean. Cool and dump onto cake plate. Slice and serve. It's wonderful. You can also add cream-cheese frosting to the carrot version for more of a dessert. 

Weight Watchers  - a slice has 5 points w/o nuts and 6 points w/ nuts. 

Monday, October 13, 2008

Fighting Spiders

I don't usually brag on my son's coloring, drawing, or writing abilities because in a word, they're not that good. He's a boy, he's in a hurry, he's about getting it done so he can go play with cars, heros, trains, swords, and other boys. But the other day he handed me this. I took notice because first of all, it had more than one color, second, it had different texture (dots, lines, movement). It looked like he actually cared about this. So I said, "Colin, this is really good. What do you call this piece of art?" He looked at it and then said, "It's 'Fighting Spiders'." I praised him some more and then he said, "See the two spiders Mommy? One of them is blue and purple and the other is red and yellow and the black marks is the FIGHT!" (fight said ferociously). I was impressed and decided that I would frame this one. I also decided that maybe each of his pieces have a meaning and I should be less critical and more attentive and appreciative. 

FIGHTING SPIDERS

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Igor


Not even gonna waste my time writing a review but simply going to warn you NOT to go. Complete utter waste of time and can't find a redeeming thing about this movie, especially for children. Dark, gloomy, weird, sad sad little film. Do not be deceived by this cute little poster.

Weak, strong in NO way!

One funny thing that happened. At the very beginning when the lion roars for MGM, a little girl was opening the door to the theater at the same time. She see nothing but blackness and hears lion roaring. It made her cry and she refused to come in for fear of a lion on the lose. I shouldn't laugh, but that was really funny. She sat in the lap of her Daddy the entire movie. The movie scared her too. On two different occasions she asked to go home. Poor kid, my guess is her dreams were not pleasant last night.