Monday, March 31, 2008

Circus Circus part 4: MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

I know this is going to sound redundant but if you're just tuning in, please go back and read part 1-3. All the victims in this story need a fair shake. If you start here....well, it's just not fair.

"Mommy, will you look in your purse for my Pi?" I stop. I look at him. I'm pretty sure there is fire coming out my ears and my eyes are that ugly devil red color and I look like a crazy person. Because I stop, the rest of the family also stops. They turn to watch, to glare, to wonder, to sympathize even? I've tried several approaches with Colin at this point regarding my tone and my delivery to no avail. So I do the thing. You know, the thing where you clench your teeth and talk at the same time because if you don't it will be at a decibel level that will get you arrested. I squat down (easy to do - hard to get up). I look Colin in the eyes with clenched teeth and a broken back from the last straw placed ever so cautiously and I seethe, "If you ask me for your pi one more time before we get back to the hotel, I'm going to throw it in the trash and it will gone FOREVER! Forever! Do you understand what that means? NO MORE PI!!" I get up and begin to walk. We walk about four steps. Just enough for us to catch up with the family.

Ever so softly Colin says, "Mommy?" I turn to look at him. Then he wails with the conviction of Moses to Pharo when he demands, "Let my people go!", "I WANT MY PI". This is it folks. This is where the rubber meets the road. At this moment my child will forever have power over me or I will alter the course of the day-long war and remind him that I'm the mamma and he is NOT! In the corner of my eye I see a trash can in the bowels of sin city. Divine or by the Devil it was there. I take Colin by the hand without talking. I get him 1 foot from a trash can that has an attached lid. I take my purse off my shoulder, I dig for the pi, I hold it in front of the trash can and I say, again with clenched teeth, "LAST CHANCE BUDDY. I'm all done. If you mention the pi again, I promise, hear my words, I promise I will throw it in the trash and it will gone forever." Colin is silent. Colin is thinking. Colin says, "Can I have my pi now?" Seriously!? I look at him with shock. I unclench my teeth, a take a deep breath knowing this is about to alter the course of our lives, and that I will pay for this for many many days to come. But it is time to say what you mean, mean what you say and follow through even if it's the meanest thing you've ever done. I lift the lid of the trash can and I drop in the most precious thing my son owns. And I say, "Bye-Bye Pi."

How do I put this? Colin literately melted in front of me. His protest and crying up 'til now had just been a warm up. He began to cry (wail) like I've not heard in a long time. True pain coming from his lungs. "My PI....I want my Pi...Mommy get my Pi....I want my pi....my pi....etc." Finally, by the grace of God, compassion overcomes me. I handed Mom my purse. I picked up my son and I held him as he grieved for his pi. I said calmly, quietly and with a tone to let him know this was done, "I'm sorry buddy. But bad behavior will not get you what you want and I told you what was going to happen and now pi is gone." I carried him as he cried. I watched him come to the understanding that his precious pi was gone. I felt him whimper in my arms and I couldn't believe that he still liked or needed me. He continued to cry as we went through the parking structure. He stopped asking for his pi.

....to be continued

7 comments:

Rachel Maples said...

Sigh....such strength from both of you. It's easy to threaten but to carry through takes true inner strength! How will the rest of the trip play out with no Pi? Will Colin ask for his Pi again? Did you ever make it to dinner, did you actually get to eat? What's Teddy's tragic moment? Does he lose the Pi, Teddy & Blanket all in one trip?

The Craftypigs said...

Just you wait Henry Higgins, just you wait....

Jenn B said...

Mommy's battling with their children from Los Angeles to Latvia just rose to their feet in wild applause!!! Seriously, I'm telling you that if you were onstage at a MOPS convention telling this story, this would be the point where the cheering would go on for ten minutes!!! You GO GIRL!

Heidi said...

I've never met you - but man. I gotta hand it to you. You rock. I applauded when you actually did it. I teared up when Colin cried about it. I really teared up when you talked about the fact that you were suprised that he still wanted/needed to hold onto you after you threw it out.

One of the ways that we express our love to our kids is through discipline. And discipline is nothing more than keeping your promises. You tell them if they do this, then this happens... If you don't follow through on your promises, then your child gets confused. It's hard - but it's so important.

Being a mom is hard, but I see you as a Success Story. In the words of the all-knowing child phychologist, Randy Jackson - "It started out a little rough, but you worked it out baby, you worked it OUT!"

j-bird said...

Now, you know I love me some Colin...

But this was the right thing to do.

The McKays said...

i haven't finished the final posting, but here, i am unbelievably PROUD of you! I think we make some of our worst choices when we are exhausted, but you totally stuck to your word and pitched it and gave him words of wisdom to boot. Really, friend, Colin threw it away.

Andi and Michael said...

Way to go! Gotta stick to your guns, especially when they involve toy footballs and pi. :-)