Friday, March 28, 2008

Circus Circus part 1: THE DEPARTURE

This is a tale that could've gotten me the "Worst Mother of the Year" award. JD says that I might not have won, but I definitely earned a nomination. I have to admit....he's absolutely right. But by the grace of God, the forgiveness and love of Colin and the patience of JD, I do not have said award on my mantel.....yet anyway.

This is also a tale that has an ending worth waiting for, so although this might be a long story by blog standards, I encourage you to keep checking in and reading the next part(s) so as you, the reader, don't give me the award I probably deserved.

My mother and my 5-year-old niece, Katreena came to Las Vegas for a family reunion of sorts. Following the reunion weekend, Mom and Katreena were going to come to CA and stay the rest of the week. Colin and I drove to LV to pick them up on a Friday and we would all come back Sunday. Mom and Katreena were going to catch the train back to NM on the next Friday. Great plan, right?

THE DEPARTURE:
The sprinklers had not been working. This wasn't a big deal because we had been blessed with Washington type rain and the hills were covered with what looked like a blanket of green velvet. Beautiful! I'd been driving around singing, "The hills are alive...la la la." Looked like Ireland. Still does. Will probably last for another month or so.

Anyway, in spite of the rain, I had noticed parts of the grass were thirsty. I had arranged for a sprinkler man, a sweet little Asian man named Mr. Dang, to come by early Friday morning and get it all back up and running before we were all gone over the weekend. JD was already at an elders retreat that had begun the day before. So Mr. Dang does great by showing up about 8:30. Our plan was to get on the road no later than 10:30 so as to beat the CA traffic headed to Las Vegas for the weekend. If you live in LV or in CA, you understand that what should be a 4 hour trip could easily turn into a 9 hour trip because of bumper to bumper for 300 miles. So, you can get the picture, I was going to leave no later than 11 or I wasn't going. Mr. Dang was going to cooperate and get his job done. I was going to get packed and get Colin packed and get the car loaded while Mr. Dang worked and we would be on time or die trying. Need it under control or going to lose control....you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? I was a Momma on a mission.

I get Colin out of bed. I have already packed his suitcase except for the very precious blanket, teddy, and pacifier (Pi). Colin was excited to go on a trip and willingly placed these three items in his suitcase after he woke up. I told him he needed a bath before we hit the road so he was clean and comfortable. Without going into the gory details, his happy attitude turned ugly with the mention of a bath. Suffice it to say that he didn't want a bath, he didn't want to wash his hair, he didn't want to get dressed, he didn't want to do ANYTHING I asked him to do, told him to do, threatened his life if he didn't do. And so began a day of war that would have many battles to come.

At some point between the bath that included a bare bottom pattle, forced hair washing (difficult to pull off in the best of circumstances) and before forcing him into clothes; I put him firmly on his bed in his room and told him to stay there until he could act like a human. Clearly, I also needed to be placed in my room but there was no one to send me there and the sprinkler man was outside and needed my help and I had to assure him that I wasn't killing my child even though it sounded like that. And let me tell you, the desire was most definitely there.

At some point, Colin poked his head out of his room and defiantly called my name. "Mooommmmyyyyy!" I came around the corner to find a naked child clutching his teddy bear, holding his blanket, sucking with great passion on his beloved pi. He had unpacked his stuff and was letting me know that I had not won that round, but in fact, he did. I asked him if he was ready to get dressed and he said obstinately, "NO!" "Fine," I said, "go back in there then until you are. I don't want to see you right now."

Eventually, he let me know he was ready to get dressed. I think it was because he was very curious about the man working on the sprinklers. He agreed to get dressed but he refused to let go of his teddy or his pi. So here's my three and a half year old walking around with a paci in his mouth, having conversations with me and Mr. Dang. Colin reminded me of a chain smoker with that thing in his mouth, dangling about as he spoke. I have to admit I was a little embarrassed and wondered what Mr. Dang must be thinking about my inability to mother my child. At this point he's heard great screaming from us both and now stands before him a boy with a pacifier who quite clearly was winning the war.

We were almost ready to go. The day before we had purchased a new DVD player for the car. The previous one had died a slow death due to apple juice poisoning. So, I had the car all ready to go with the new DVD player hooked up and loaded with a new movie to help pass the time for Colin. I had my iPod all charged and ready to go to help me pass the time and I had snacks and drinks for the way because we weren't stopping for anything except to pee. I had everything loaded but three items: the Pi, the blanket and Teddy. Colin was still clutching one and sucking on the other and the third was still abandoned upstairs on the bed. I thanked Mr. Dang with a $250 dollar check, happy that the sprinklers were running again and we had a new clock installed. He gave me the labor and parts for a broken sprinkler and didn't charge me for another little mishap that almost flooded the back yard (another story). It's only relative to this story because it lets you in on my current state of mind.
Time now is 10:45AM. I have fifteen minutes to get in the car and pull out or we're not going.

"Colin, let's go. Get in the car."
"Where's my blanket."
"Upstairs, I guess. Where you left it."
"Get it!"
"You get it."
"No. You get it."
tick tock tick tock
"Fine, I'll get it. Go get in the car."
"No....carry me."
"Have you lost your mind? Get in the car before I spank your bottom again!"
"Carry me."
tick tock tick tock

Again, suffice it to say, I get the blanket, I carry the kid to the car, I let him have his Pi on the road, in the car (supposed to only be in the bed) I turn on a movie, I hand him a snack, and I give him a drink. I've all but said, "YOU WIN." I get in the car, gather myself which is lying in pieces and pull it together to drive to Las Vegas. I'm tired, I'm unhappy, and I'm wonerding what just happened between me and my child.

We depart. 10:58AM

....to be continued.

4 comments:

Brad and Tammy said...

Uh,oh..where's Teddy????

Kim and JD said...

Tammy, that is exactly what I was thinking. I cant wait for part 2!!!

Kristi said...

okay - maybe not mom of the year, but you might get a pulitzer prize for your writing...brilliant. can't wait to hear the rest.

Andi and Michael said...

If anything, you should get an award for the writing. Love it!