Little Girls

My son has turned 5. We held him back from going to kindergarten this year as we didn't want him to always be the littlest, the youngest, the kid who's always trying to catch up with the big boys. We wanted him to be one of the big boys. So, consequently, he is now the big boy in my class. Not the awkward kid, just the oldest in the class. I assume that when he gets to kindergarten he will not be the only older boy in class. I'm counting on it.

Anyway, my kid is sweet and cute and everyone loves him. He takes after his Daddy that way. And in my class I have 11 girls and 6 boys. (The drama from that alone is a completely different blog post.) The girls absolutely LOVE my son. While I think it's cute, I am also starting to see a glimpse of the future and my heart breaks for him as I know these girls will become women and they will break his heart, over and over again. But also, mamma bear wants to growl, "Hey! He's mine and you keep your grubby little hands off! He can date when he's 30!" Colin just thinks they're all great and wants to have a good day and keep everyone happy and enjoy his friends - again, he's a lot like his Daddy that way. What Colin hasn't learned yet is that you cannot please everyone and you sure as hell can't please a bunch of women.

Regardless, there are now five little girls who battle for his attention and his affection. Watching Colin juggle them is really something. Someone is always upset with him because Colin isn't playing with them. They are fighting amongst themselves about who is going to marry him (not kidding) and they are pouting and pulling stunts to try to make Colin feel bad or guilty and give one person complete attention. I often feel sorry for him and want to jump in and tell them to leave him alone but so far, he's oblivious to their shenanigans and if one won't play with him, he doesn't care, he'll play with someone who will, including the boys in my class. Whew!

So yesterday morning on the playground, the girls arrive one by one. I try to greet every child and comment on their hair or their dress or ask about their lives in some way. Well one of the girls came dressed in a really cute outfit and I made a comment. Colin happened to be standing with me. He hears me. Then one of the other girls wanted to know if I like her outfit. While I did, it wasn't necessarily worth commenting on. It was just a dress. Colin had the same opinion cuz he started to say "not as much." I interrupted him with a loud, "Of course. Your dress is beautiful too." The first little girl turned and gave me the stink eye." You can't win. Case in point.

But I whispered to my son, "You tell all the girls they look beautiful. Because if you just tell one and not the others, then they're going to be upset with you and your life will be so much easier if you just tell them they all look pretty." He just let that sink in. He didn't really respond. Colin is like me in that he says what he's thinking. He's like his Daddy in that he doesn't ever want to hurt anyone's feelings (tough mental exercise involved right there and this instruction just made it harder.) I know what he was thinking. He's thinking, "I'm supposed to lie?! This will make girls happy?!"

Yep and nope. Welcome to the world of little girls. Beautiful, sweet, manipulative, pouting, crying, dramatic, delightful, angry, yummy little girls. .....Thank God I have a boy.

TV's Weight Problem

This is a short history of the televisions in our family... suffer through because there's a gem at the end worth waiting for.

When I met JD about 10 years ago, I had a 13" tv with built in VCR that I watched occasionally.

JD had this really heavy 32" Sony that he brought with him to Albuquerque from Nashville.

Then as a single guy he purchased a really cool old Ford Bronco, a Harley, a great stereo system and speakers, and a 60" BIG screen TV, not necessarily in that order. I believe the TV was first. He then put the 32" in his bedroom.

Then we moved to Vegas, got married and we now had three TV's. We kept the little 13" and put it in our bedroom, put the 32" downstairs in the family room and put the 60" upstairs in the bonus room that turned out to be a very cool hang to watch TV. Then we purchased a 26" DVD/VCR combo for the "workout" room.

Then we moved to Dallas. Well once you've taken a 60" rear projection up some stairs as we did in Vegas, you're content to sell it with the house instead of moving it. (another blog that I'll post. Very funny story). So we left it and sold the the 13" and the 32" in a garage sale, we moved with the 26" with the intention to buy a screen and projector.

In Dallas we have more than enough room in our huge house for our little 26" and more. The people we bought the house from had a 60" big screen up stairs that they weren't going to move either so they threw it in with the house too. JD purchases the ever wanted 106" screen with the HD projector to go in the media room - "the cave" we called it. Now peeps, this was the coolest setup theater room I've ever seen. We moved their old 60" into our new workout room, put the 26" downstairs in the family room so you could watch something downstairs without having to go upstairs and fire up the projector and by then we had Colin so he was watching Little Einstein videos and the Wiggles downstairs all the time.

Then we moved to CA. We downsized EVERYTHING! No more projector, no more workout room, so we sold the projector and screen and moved only with the 26" TV. My husband had full intention of buying a plasma TV upon arrival. Well the little house God provided us to live in would only allow room enough for a 52" and JD had to settle. A year later we move to the house we're in now. The first thing JD says when we get here is that our TV is too small. I put my foot down and said, "Suck it up. We're not buying another one." And the way our room is configured, the TV is a little small for the room, but he's dealing with it.

So, yesterday, Colin is watching movies on the "big" TV instead of his tv (the 26" in his playroom). And if you're going to watch a movie you should watch it on the plasma with the very cool speakers. He happens to be lying on the floor in front of the TV, playing with cars at the same time. Eventually, he moves back to the couch with his blanket to snuggle in for the rest of the movie.

He tells me, "Mommy, the TV's lost weight."

"What?"

"The TV's lost weight. Up there it was big, but here it's smaller."

Great! Just what JD needs; our son to validate his need to buy a bigger TV.

And I wonder if there's a direct correlation to the size of your TV and the size of your butt.....hmmmm. If so, mine used to be a tight little 13". ...Key phrase: used to.

Admiration

This is Dayne. Dayne is almost 14. He babysat Colin, with the help from his parents, as I ran an errand. I couldn't get Colin to get in the car, he had so much fun. Dayne is one of the greatest kids I've ever met. Colin is in good company and has a good example. I'm so very grateful that he has such a person to learn from. 

Cozy

Tumbleweed, my big, fluffy, 14-year-old cat, is no longer spry and tumbley. Instead he's calm, lazy, and low-key. Yesterday we woke up to a wonderful, rare rain storm. Tweeders just wanted a warm, quiet place to sleep. He was a little irritated with me that I disrupted him to get his picture. 

I'm Dizzy!

May 10, 2007

June 3, 2009

When did this happen!? Did someone push the fast as you can go button cuz I don't remember my little boy growing up so fast. 

A Punish

Colin and I were driving home from a little shopping excursion after church on Sunday. While on this excursion, he ate an entire apple, many many gold fish, and some gum I think. By the time we were almost home, I was really hungry and I figured Colin was a little hungry but not starved due to the snackage he had consumed. 

As I've mentioned, there's a McDonald's on the way home. We pass by. I had no intention of stopping. We're past the entrance. We turn onto the next street and the following conversation takes place: 

Colin: Mom, can we go to McDonald's? 

Me: No. We've already passed it. I want to go home. 

Colin: You could turn around. 

Me: Not today Buddy. 

pause pause

Colin: How about this for a punish? If you don't turn around and go back to McDonald's you can't have lunch ever again!

We did not turn around. I did have lunch. Colin ate at home. How about this for a punish, indeed.

A Husband Day

Yesterday I had the rare privilege to spend an entire day with my husband without our child. Don't get me wrong, you know I love me some Colin BUT I do so love my husband with all my heart and rarely get him all to myself. 

Ms Tina, my teacher's assistant, has taken the summer off to go home and live with her parents, save some money, come back in the fall for school and work with me. But she came back Thursday for our Pre-K Completion Celebration. She agreed to stay over until Saturday and keep Colin for us (free of charge) all day and night yesterday, subbed for me at work so I could have a day and night with JD. Bless you Tina. 

We had such a good time. I introduced JD to a pedicure - of which he needed desperately and he introduced me to Happy Feet (a foot reflexology place), we grocery shopped, we washed the car, we went to lunch, we went to a movie, we shopped The Grove, we sat in a friends' hot tub that were out of town, we made dinner, etc. etc. etc. :) and we had a fantastic wonderful day. 

So all you wives, I highly recommend it, go have a Husband Day. 

Thank you Husband - it was the best!

From the Jungle to the Ocean

Turned the Jungle into the Ocean. See the bottom of the boat? It's on the ceiling. See my fishing basket? Yea, it worked. Let the commotion in the ocean begin. I'll let you know how the kids like it. 

It Etwa

For my birthday I went to get a pedicure. I  was in dire need of my pedis being cured. BAD shape. The last one had been November. So, I believe that at least once a year, every woman and man should get a pedicure. But in CA where flip flops are worn year-round, you need at least two, if not one a month. 

So I go with my dear friend Andi who is treating me to a Celestina Day. She needs a pedi too. We sit. She gets her girl and I get Nicole. I type the following story with much endearment, for she won me over. Typing her accent will be a bit of a challenge but you'll get the idea if you'll just read it aloud with perfect phonetics. 

Now, you know how it is, they begin with mostly hand motions. They being the Vietnamese ladies and men who tend to be in a nail salon. They motion you to sit in a chair. They motion you to put your feet in. They motion or touch a foot to come out and be placed in a certain spot. They motion you to change feet. They make a little noise for you to choose if you want your nail clipped or filed. Sometimes you can go an entire pedi without ever having a conversation with your technician. This was not one of those days. 

I had decided that I was going to go with a French Pedicure so that it would last a long time. My time for nails is slim to none. I have desire. I don't have time. Hence the six month stent. Anyway, I try to explain as she's making me choose between clipping and filing that one of my nails is really short because I had broken it recently. 

Her: It okay, I make. 

Me: Okay. But don't clip it anymore. 

Her: It okay, I make. 

Me: resigning Okay. 

She gets my nails all cleaned up and she's very happy. She smiles at me a lot. I know this not because I see her smile, due to the mask, but her eyes crinkle and she tilts her head. Finally she asks me my name. 

Her: Wha yoo nam?

Me: Celeste. What's yours? 

Her: said at lightning speed: Nico...Li Nico Kima, you no har? Hee Hee Hee

Me: I'm sorry again. (I'm thinking she said her last name but by her tone I'm aware she's asked me a question but I haven't a clue what she asked. And that whatever she said was extremely funny to her)

Her: Nico....lik Nico Kima, you no har? Hee Hee Hee

I desperately look at Andi. She smiles and says, "Nicole Kidman. You know her?" Aa Ha. 

Me: Nicole Kidman. Yes, I'm aware of who she is. I've never met her however. 

At this point in my pedi, Nicole looks up and asks

Nicole: Yoo wan kalla remov?

Me: Do I need it? 

Nicole: O Ya, yoo nee!

Me: Okay. 

Nicole: big smile It etwa.

Me: What? 

Nicole: bigger smile It etwa. 

Again I look to Andi for translation. She smiles and says, "It's extra." At which Nicole rapidly shakes her head up and down. 

Me: Oh. It's okay. 

Nicole goes and gets the necessary tool to remove the calluses from my heels. I know I'm desperate. I've never done this. Then she brings back what looks like a grinder. Really?! 

Nicole works for a long time on my feet. She is no longer smiling under the mask. I'm pretty sure she cussing me out but I can't tell. Finally she's done. 

She begins painting my toes. She makes me a nail. Then at the right moment she asks: 

Nicole: Yoo wan flawa?

Me: Flower? 

Nicole: Ya, yoo wan flawa? I pan yoo flawa. 

Me: Okay.  

Nicole: It etwa. 

Me: Of course it is. It's okay. 

Nicole: I pan yoo 2 flawa. 

Me: Okay. 

She works a long time more. I was glad I wasn't in a hurry. At this point Andi was done. She was just letting her nails dry. 

Finally she's all done. She slides on my flip flops. Then she says this: 

Nicole: Yoo ah prewee now. Yoo no way six mon moor to cum baa. Twee wee, yoo baa. Oka?

Me: Okay. 

It's been almost five weeks. But you know, she did a great job and her paint has lasted. Even if it was etwa. 

You Can't Just....

The art in being a teacher is turning anything that might be trash into something creative while teaching the children at the same time. Giving new definition to: reuse, reduce and recycle. You remember my allotastuff post, well I've caught a full blown stage 5 since becoming a teacher. I can find a use for just about anything given long enough to think about it and having just the right opportunity present itself. Sometimes, I scare myself. I'll write about the garage sale sickness later. Anyway back to current story. So here are a couple of examples of how my new sickness is serving me: 

Example One: We were going to do jungle week. It was about three weeks away. I knew it was coming. I wasn't sure what my plans were but I had it in my head to create something fun and new for the kids in the classroom. Then as if the Divine was with me, the day before trash day a few weeks ago I drove home and there were two old silk potted plants sitting by someone's trash. They had elephant plant leaves. PERFECT I thought. I snagged them thinking, "I'm not sure how these are going to work, but I'm going to use them during Jungle Week." Flash forward to this week (jungle week) I haul them to my classroom, tear them apart and create a jungle in the reading area for my kids to explore and enjoy. It was a HIT!!! It had jungle sounds that they could listen to, stuffed and plastic animals endogenous to the jungle, some brown paper, a big plant from the auditorium, four yards of blue material and two yards of green (recycled from the Children's Choir props), and the silk leaves from my side of the road plants as foliage. Even found a place to put Sally, our pink Boa Constrictor. The kids fought over it the first day and argued who had been in the jungle too long and who's turn it was next. They eventually learned how to share and it turned out to be one of my best ideas so far. 

Example Two: Always thinking ahead. Next week is Ocean Week. Capitalizing on what I had already started, I was going to create the bottom of the Ocean for next week. I've already got the blue and green material exactly where it will need to go. Just need to build the bottom of the ocean. Again, Wednesday, the day before trash day, Colin and I are driving home. By someone's trash is a great metal basket. Kinda like what you might find balls in at a golf course. I immediately see a fishing basket with a catch inside, hanging from my ceiling as if off the bow of someone's boat that you could see if you were swimming around underwater, in the ocean. 

I pull to a stop, back up, and put the car in park. Colin wonders what in the world I'm doing. I explain that I want this basket for our ocean week. I snag the basket, hand it to Colin and drive on home. Colin likes the basket and wants to know if he can keep it after ocean week. Sure. Why not? 

Then he says, "But Mom, you can't just go around stealing stuff." 

I presented the, "if it's trash, then it's not stealing. They were throwing it away. I saved it. I recycled it. I'll reuse it and reduce the landfill by one little basket. I deserve a medal. 

After he thought about that and decided my argument was solid, he asked if we could go back and get the chair that the basket was sitting on. I declined because, you know, you just can't go around stealing stuff. 

This is a Dollar?

Colin and I drove through McDonald's about two weeks ago and I must relay the transaction that took place. I drove away afraid for my child's education and thankful that I'm a teacher and he will know the difference between the coins of the United States of America. 

I had 35 cents in change coming. The kid, at the window could've been 14 or 22. I can't tell how hold they are. The older I get, the younger kids look to me. Let's just say he was old enough to know better, or should've known better. He hands me a dime and a Susan B. Anthony silver dollar. I look at it. I know I'm only supposed to be getting 35 cents back so I say, 

"You gave me too much." 

"I did?" astonished that he could've made such a mistake

"Yes, you gave me a dollar and ten cents. I'm only supposed to get back 35 cents." 

"I gave you a quarter and a dime." 

"No, you gave me this." I hand it back. "This is a dollar." 

"This is a dollar!?" as if he's never seen such a thing.

"Yes, it's a Susan B. Anthony silver dollar, not a quarter." 

"Oh." He takes the dollar, gives me a quarter. 

Then I think, he doesn't deserve this dollar. I ask, 

"Can I have it?" 

blank stare

"I mean, can I trade it?" I offer a dollar bill

"Okay" he takes my bill, hands me back the coin. 

"Thanks."

I drive away astonished. 

WOW!

A Mess

The last week was one of my busiest all year. The Children's Choir performed their spring musical this weekend. I'm involved, Colin's involved, we're busy! Prep for that was huge. Time for that was emence. Time for all the other things that still had to be done came from my sleeping time. And let's just be honest, a bunch of stuff didn't get done at all - you should see my ironing pile! The inside of the car looked like a nuclear bomb went off. The only reason poor Colin's sheets got changed is because the cat managed to get in there and take a nap causing an Asthma attack. You can write your name on every surface in my house provided you can find the surface, the stuff in the refrigerator is now a science experiment, the toilets are desperate (I live with boys) and, and, and, ....I digress. 

Anyway, this was a little nugget from Colin. He's said this before. I don't know, maybe he's right. 

We drive through McDonalds on the way to the first program on Friday night. I won't tell you how many other times we had driven through. My poor child. He needed to eat, we needed to go, McDs is on the way, he'll eat it, and I needed Diet Coke bad (back on the sauce people, back on it hard). 

So we pull out. I'm trying to drive, open his apple juice, his apple dippers (we do eat some of the healthy stuff too) and pass it back to him while avoiding people who don't know how to drive. And I'm desperate for the first sip of my DC. I always ask for extra ice because I like my drink cold - I want it cold for a long time and I want it cold all the way to the bottom. Well, bless McD's heart, they want me to have every drop of sauce I deserve for my hard earned dollar so they fill it to the rim. My cup overfloweth, no doubt. 

I get my cup out, I see a red light coming, I begin to break, I sip, I tip, DC dribbles down my choir shirt, it's cold, it's wet, it's a mess. 

"Ahhhhh, Oh for crying out loud! wipe, soak, wipe, break, stop, breath, sip again and again and once again ...Colin, your Mommy's a mess. Do you know this? Your Mommy's a mess!" 

With his little mouth full of apples he responds, "God shoudda made you a boy." 

Salt Licked

In memory: 

Salt was put to sleep by a very sweet vet who had sympathy for her inability to be a good mother, her blindness, neurological problems, paralyzed left side, and starvation.  

May she rest in peace. 

Side note: the kids have almost forgotten Salt existed. I don't have to change the cage as often. Scissors has started being nicer. And the birds moved to the two-year-old room. Things have calmed considerably in the classroom pet department. Ahhhhhhh.

Daddy will never....

So I'm always telling Colin that I have eyes in the back of my head. He thinks I'm crazy but has enough curiosity and evidence of my "eyes" that he doesn't down right defy them. 

One day my boss told Colin, "Your mom has eyes in the back of her head. Don't you know that?" You should've seen the look on his face. Since then, my eyes, have even more intrigue to him. (Thanks Mia). 

Today we're shopping in a store. Colin says, "Mom, kids have eyes in the side of their heads."

I said, "No buddy. Kids just have two eyes. You have to be a grown up to have extra eyes in your head. And even more than that, you have to be a MOM!" 

pause / thinking

"Daddy will never be a Mom." 

I couldn't have said it better if I tried. 

Kissing for Days

Colin: Can I watch the DVD player? 

Me: For a kiss

Colin: Okay. 

kiss

Colin: You can have thirty thousand kisses.

Me: Cool, thanks!

pause

Colin: If you got that many, we'd be kissing for days!

To Face or Not To Face?

So, I have these friends who do this thing called Face Book. Yeah, I know, it's most of you people. I have many of you friends who wonder what's with Celeste and that she doesn't Face? Honestly, I'm literally afraid of it. I'm so afraid of it, I haven't even ventured out to see what's involved. 

I hear things like this: 

So, this person, whom I've not heard from in 25 years found me on Face Book!

So and so, friended me on Face Book (said with disgust)

I spent 3 hours on Face Book yesterday

I haven't caught up on Face Book in ages

Why aren't you on Face Book

I tried to find you on Face Book

I tried to friend you on Face Book

You find all kinds of people on Face Book (I don't want to find people)

It keeps you in touch with everyone!

UGGGG - I don't want people "finding" me! What if I don't want to be found?!

The truth is, I like being a missing person. But when my oldest friend told me she knows more about my sister than me because of Face Book I was a little peeved and somewhat jealous and now I'm thinking that maybe Face isn't so bad and I was wondering what you guys think.....

Also, keeping up with the blog is hard enough, who has time for Facing!? 

I'm feeling like it's going to be a slap in the face - no really!

On Purpose

Coin: When you do something mean to me, you do it on purpose. 

Me: What? 

Colin: When you do something mean to me, you do it on purpose. (He's referring to discipline)

Me: I also love you on purpose. 

Colin: Okay. That's good. 

Oh Crap!

(The names of the children have been left out to protect the innocent and the guilty)

For the most part, handling the kids' pre-school issues are normal Mommy / Teacher behavior. However, there are certain times that stuff goes down and you wish for a little more education, intuition, common sense, psyche classes, and without question, the miracle of forgetfulness for the children. 

On Friday, right as lunch was about over I started the "Potty Train" where all the kids go potty before nap time. The first one in line was a beautiful and very compliant little girl. She starts the potty train by stating that she needs to go. I send her in. She returns, finishes lunch, excuses herself. I have done 1000 more things since then and remember that I'm supposed to sending kids to pee. I send a little boy who's been done with lunch. He goes in and immediately comes back out. 

Teacher, there's poop in here. 

We'll insert name pee on top of it and then flush it all. 

But Teacher, the poop is on the floor!

WHAT!? I round the corner and see that indeed there is poop on the floor in front of the potty, kind of smeared but not exactly, it's fresh and it stinks. 

Of course by now, many of the students have to look, see, comment. This is making the whole situation worse. I have to do something right now or this will be a worse disaster than it already is. 

Now, you be me. What to do next?! I considered all sorts of things. One to clean it up myself, move on and get the potty train done. I considered going into the room and announcing that someone needs to finish the job. I considered going home and not dealing with it at all. Truth be told, this was the most favorable option but clearly not a viable one. 

I send my tattle-tail out of the bathroom and I go out and survey the classroom. I'm thinking who was the last kid in there that I'm aware of? Then it dawns on me. The sweet little girl mentioned above is my first deduction. I call her over to me. Now, side note on this child. She literally melts if she's in trouble for the littlest thing, hence she is rarely in trouble with anyone. Before she ever gets to me I see it fear and shame on her face. I realize that probably she is my guilty party. Now I know enough about her to know she would NEVER do such a thing on purpose. In fact she is so good that she wouldn't even be able to think it up. So I ask. 

Insert name I need the truth. Was it you? Please just tell me the truth. 

She nods yes. 

Okay. Now what? 

I decide that she needs to help me clean it up and that way we can talk about it and find out what happened. She's crying. Tears are rolling down her cheeks one after the other as I put gloves on her hands and mine. 

We go to the bathroom. I show her how to clean it up. I help. She cries. We finish. Then I say the following. 

Here's what I think happened. I think when you stood up and wiped, the poop hadn't fallen off into the potty yet. As you wiped, it fell to the floor instead. So here's my question. Did you know that the poop was on the floor when you left the bathroom? 

She nods yes. 

Okay. In the future, if you ever have any kind of problem, please will you come get me? All you have to do is say, "Ms Celeste, I need your help. Can you come please?" And I'll come help and we will fix it, whatever it is. Also, that way, no one has to know anything except you and me. Okay?

Okay. 

I hug her and tell her it's okay. She didn't mean to and we're just going to forget all about it. (praying for that miracle of forgetfulness). 

She recovers, the class minds their manners and doesn't tease her or mention it again (I was astonished at that and so very grateful). I later had to tell her mother what happened so if her daughter mentioned something about it, she had the whole story. Her mother was horrified for her and wanted to just cry for her. I did too. But I told her the class didn't tease her and she recovered from the incident. 

What a day! Seriously, this wasn't in my orientation for becoming a Preschool Teacher. 

Been Found Out!

Colin says to me yesterday, "Mom, you're just filled with jokes." 

translation.....

"Mom, you're full of it." 

.....I know that. JD definitely knows that, I just didn't think Colin would figure that out so soon. 

The Price Is Right

Colin and I were off school today. He discovered "The Price Is Right". While sitting in a trance he said, "Mom, I love this show on the big TV". 

Me too!

Perhaps we should TiVo it. At the very least, he'll learn large numbers and some shopping tips.